


Hold on to Your Empathy

by AlwaysACuteMess



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Old Friends, Time warp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 03:12:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10585236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlwaysACuteMess/pseuds/AlwaysACuteMess
Summary: Twenty-five years after being forcibly split, you inexplicably run into him again. It just doesn't seem real...





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a (possible AU?) time skip to the story Empathy. The one with the little kids that's super cute. Well what happens to them isn't. Maybe. If I decide this is canon. I just had this idea and there was no way in hell I was finishing Empathy today so instead I did this. I'm sorry. This is what I do.

“It was wonderful.”

“I’ll tell that to DiAngelo. He’s the one who makes the stuff.” You smiled, because that’s all you could do here. Tried to make nice. Not that he didn’t deserve it. One of your regulars. Always made sure to sit right in your section.

“Yeah- um. Yeah. Here.” Instead of leaving your tip on your table, he handed a twenty to you.

The generosity, as always when you found it in small doses, was too startling to know how to react to properly. “Oh- no I couldn’t- that’s more than your bill, V. Stop. It’s okay.” Holding your hand up to try and politely dismiss him.

But instead of accepting your denial he just held it out a little closer. “C’mon. It’s okay. The service was stellar. As always. You deserve it.” His brows raised over the frames of his glasses. The situation was too weird. You wanted to deny him again but other people were looking now. Your boss, included.

So you took the bill from his hand and smiled again, trying not to be too awkward about it, regardless of how you felt. Which was incredibly so. “Thanks, V.”

Turning half away he tugged his baseball cap back on and grinned. “No problem. And- I swear- I keep telling my friends about this place. I guess they’ve been too busy to try the food. But they’ll come eventually!” Always making that promise. You supposed his friends had to be as nice as he was. Probably.

“I’ll meet ‘em some day.” Promised right back. It was your usual banter. And it was much easier than accepting obvious handouts.

You stepped aside to let him move away, figuring that was as much of a goodbye as anything. But he turned back again. “Um- hey- uh-“ Instead of getting in the way of his verbal fumbling, you just waited. “Um. Have a good day. Okay?” This probably wasn’t what he wanted to say. You’d had the inkling that he’d wanted to ask you out for a while now. And you were glad that he’d never worked up the courage.

“You, too, V. I’ll see you around.” Giving him a little wave. Playing dumb for both your benefits. He only stayed a few more seconds before uncomfortably waving back and then leaving. You took a moment to steady yourself before quickly attending to your busy section. The end of your shift wouldn’t come for hours, still, and honestly, you’d rather be here than the place you’d ended up.

Getting treated like human garbage by nasty customers was better, somehow. And that was why clocking out came sooner than you expected. Sooner than you hoped. V’s tip was the best one you’d gotten all night. And it was going to have to keep you afloat. Part of you wanted to stash it away. With the others. Trying to get something together while you could. Trying to do _anything_ with the broken shards of your life. Instead...

Instead you did something foolish. Figuring you deserved maybe just a little treat. So you walked a few blocks down to the ice cream place and ordered a cone. A simple wafer with one flavor. Far more expensive than it should be. At least the rainbow sprinkles were free. Then you sat on a nearby bench and just enjoyed it. Enjoyed it for all that it was worth. Tried to take your time. Tried not to think of too much. Instead watched the people as they walked by. Listened to men guffaw at one another and girls giggle at each other over who knew what. It was nice. It was simple and easy. And peaceful.

Then you swore you might have been having an episode.

 _Dan-_  
_Did you see??_  
_It’s Dan!_

It wouldn’t be the first time you had heard that name in the back of your head. In a younger tone of your voice. You’d tried to work so hard on fixing it, but the solution was too far out of your grasp. Medicine had become too expensive. As had seeing anyone that could actually help you. Then-

_Are you Dan Avidan?_

That was not your voice. No iteration of. It was one of the girls that had been laughing earlier. Sitting in a group with her friends. Young little things. Not a care in the world. Except one.

“I am! Hi- hello!”

His voice was unfamiliar. Same as his face.  
Yet everything in you knew him all at once.

Part of you figured you’d gone so far down a rabbit hole that this was the end. That you were vividly hallucinating. That this must have been one of your patrons that you were projecting on in a manic episode of hyper insanity. This was it. This was the day you actually went insane. But why? It had seemed like a normal tuesday, hadn’t it? What in the world could have triggered such a thing?

You watched in an overflowing sense of numbness as he talked to those girls. Towered over them. Dished out hugs like he was getting paid for it. Giggled right along with them. Signed some things for them. You’d dreamed of this moment and this moment alone for years. Yet now you were sitting on a bench, quivering. Not sure what to do with yourself. Not sure any of it was real.

He had grown into such a handsome man. And you-  
What had you become?

Desperation clawed at you as the girls walked by and he had turned away, back to his table, not far out of reach. You put an arm out to stop them, just short of actually clawing at her jacket accidentally. “D-did you- say- Dan Avidan?” If you were crazy the answer would be no, right?

Surely the girl would look at you like you were nuts and tell you to leave her alone. Instead she just smiled widely and nodded. “Yeah! Don’t be scared! He’s _super_ nice!”

You had no idea what this meant.  
What any of it meant. Before you could ask, as if they’d have some sort of answer for you, they were gone. And you were left with one decision. Get up and leave and go talk to your counselor. Or get up and go make peace with a moment that had been buzzing in the back of your head since you were twelve. It couldn’t be. Just couldn’t be. You were sure of it. Probably some other Dan Avidan. There had to be hundreds, right?

It was too perfect. Too well put together to be real.

Shakily you stood up, tossing the rest of your melted cone into the garbage nearest and took one step after another, slowly, until you reached his table. His back was turned, head in his hand, humming something to himself. Pencil doodling idly in the margin of some notebook. Who was this man? No one you knew.

“D-“ Your tongue touched against the roof of your mouth and the sound just barely came out. He was too lost in his own world to have heard it. You had time to back away. To make this one more overly vivid daydream in the back of your pocket. Because it... it just.. couldn’t be.. “Dan?”

This stopped his humming and you felt awful for having distracted him. Whoever he was. Because certainly- “Yeah?” He turned his head up, eyes zeroing in, smile warm and sweet. “Can I help you?” Asking in the most polite way you’d ever heard.

You continued to stand there, shivering, hands clenched tightly in fists at your sides. Those eyes. You’d never forget those eyes. And the scar bisecting his brow... his smile might have been worked around by five o’clock shadow- he had grown into such a handsome man, face framed by wild curly hair- but it was- “Dan Avidan?” It was....

“Yeah- that’s me. Hey-“ He stood from his bench, whatever he was working on, abandoning it to put his attention all on you. Suddenly you couldn’t breathe. “Don’t be nervous! I’m just- I’m just some guy.” Smile growing wider, a touch wryer. Whatever he’d ended up doing for a living, apparently it had made him some modicum of famous. And you-

“I’m-“ Who were you?

“Hey, hey it’s alright.. deep breath. Can you take a deep breath for me? In-“ His hands came up to touch along your arms just beneath your shoulders and he drew a breath in at the same time and somehow that got you to do the same. “And out...” When he breathed out so did you. “Are you alright?”

You just stared at him. At everything he’d become. And- “It’s... Dan it’s..” The sound of screaming filled your ears briefly. The same as with any time you thought about him. You always ended those happy thoughts with the night you were taken away. The night it all went bad. And in his presence you felt it all. How could this be real? “It’s me-.. it’s...“

His hands dropped from your arms, head tipping to the side. His smile was replaced with marked concern, brows knitting, lips drawing into a light frown. “I’m sorry?”

Your name just barely made it out of your mouth. His eyes clouded over behind his thick black glasses. Brows scrunched a bit tighter, lips parted a fraction. You tried again. “It’s me...”

All at once he was looking at every single part of you and it burned you right to your core. You could feel him taking in every single feature. Your hair, your eyes, the shape of your face, how tall you’d gotten- all of it in that moment you could see him scanning through. When his mouth opened next you could only just barely hear the warble of your name from his throat, the blood rushing by your ears almost overpowering the soft anxiousness of his voice. When his hands reached up, shaking the same as yours, cupping your cheeks, he said your name again and this time you heard enough of it to just nod dumbly at him, tears overpowering your lashes and dropping down. “Oh my god! Oh my fucking god!”

His long, lanky arms engulfed you in a hug that was almost too tight. But really, it felt like a home you’d been searching for, for a very long time.

“Oh my fucking god.. where have you been? What happened to you?” He was mumbling one thing after the other excitedly, but with a tremor of tearfulness in his voice. He’d started crying, too. “I’ve been looking- I looked for you for so long- I couldn’t- I couldn’t find you and I- I wrote letters but I just-“ He squeezed you closer and as you struggled to catch your breath, you brought in the wonderfully delicate scent of his cologne. What a man he’d grown into indeed. “Fuckin’ fuck.. I’m so happy... I’ve missed you so much.. jesus christ... where have you been...? What happened? God what happened to you? Are you okay?”

All these questions you had answers to but couldn’t seem to get them out of your mouth. Instead you clutched to the front of his jacket, burrowing as close to him as you could get. “I missed you too, Danny... god I missed you so much, too... I thought about you all the time..”

“Every damn day...” Murmured back, rocking you from side to side in his arms. All too soon, though, he was pulling back, taking hold of your face in his hands again, brushing your tears away with his thumbs. “It’s so good to see you- I mean- you’ve... I don’t know what I imagined you’d look like twenty-five years later but it’s _so_ good to see you.”

“You too.” You giggled back, lurch in the back of your throat still watery. Sniffling as you looked up at him. “You got- I mean.. you sure filled out.” He was a spectacularly handsome man. Both of you were mimicking each other without realizing it. But you didn’t know what else to do.

With such ease, as if no time had passed, he leaned in, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead. “I wanna hear it all- I.. I need to hear everything that happened.” Begging with you, almost, to shed light on what had transpired. The events that had been far beyond both your control. Pulling back, though not letting go, he entreated you with those soft eyes first before even saying anything else. You felt his warmth filling every empty space inside you. “Do you live around here? Work? Do you have plans right now?”

And then very quickly you were flooded with shame. So much of it that you felt your face burn lightly. “I um.. I- yeah I...” Carefully you stepped out of his hold, his hands wavering in the air, looking hurt and confused before dropping them to his hips. “I work at the restaurant on the corner. It’s um.. I mean what do I even say? I’m thirty-seven and waiting tables. It’s pretty fucking lame.” Trying to self-deprecate with humor in order to take some of that heat off.

Your life sucked. It sucked super hard. It had felt like that ever since you’d been split from him.

“Gotta do what you gotta do, right?” But he didn’t sound disappointed in the slightest. “I know how that is. I mean I was working a nine-to-five up until like four years ago.” He was smiling again now, looking at you like he- ...like he used to. “Are you um.. with somebody? Live together with someone or something?”

“No- god no. I just-“ Shaking your head vehemently. No matter how pathetic things had gotten you couldn’t find it in yourself to lie to him. “I’m um. I’m staying at the women’s shelter in the um-“

“Fuck- jesus, hey- come stay with me, alright?” He served it up so casually, his hands taking your shoulders in a careful hold. “I’m parked right around the corner- I don’t know if you have to check in with them tonight or... um..” His head shuffled to the side and he reached up to put a hand back through his curly hair. “Sorry. I’m.. I’m moving a million miles a minute here. You just.. gotta understand. I’ve been thinking about you. For so long. Ever since-...”

“Yeah...” The tears came back tenfold.

“I... what happened? My parents didn’t seem to know much and like.. one minute you were there. The next you were being ripped away from me in the middle of the night. And there was nothing I could do about it. Then nothing. You disappeared. It was like you fucking died. I... it- it wrecked me, for a long time. Still kinda does- I mean did, I guess.” Being so open and honest with you so easily.

“They um... they brought the cops. I think.. I think they told them that your parents kidnapped me or.. I don’t know. Some other legal garbage. And then they threw me in the back of the car and all our stuff was there and then we drove. For a long time. I cried myself hoarse. I think they left your parents with a fake address. I never got anything from you. But I never.. I never stopped thinking about you...” Not once. Not a single day. “When I asked they-...” You flinched, unconsciously.

But he picked it up immediately. “Hey, hey it’s okay.. it’s gonna be okay...” His arms came around you again, holding you safe. Secure. “Come back with me. Stay. I just got a new house- it’s kinda lonely there anyway. And we’ll talk. About everything. God I missed you. You don’t have to worry about anything, alright?”

This just broke you down even harder until it was certain that you were making a scene in the park. He just continued to hold on. To try and tell you everything was going to be okay. To breathe. Some of it you heard, some of it you didn’t. But when you finally got control of yourself you looked up at him again and he looked back, palm on your cheek, smiling weakly. It broke you again. “I- you’ve... you’re so much like your parents.” Offering without thought to take care of you. When he’d told his parents that you were in a bad place once upon a time, not even understanding how awful, too young to but just old enough to know you needed help, his parents had opened their arms, too. Clearly they raised a fine son.

But you?

“And I.. I don’t know what my parents turned me into.” The weeping started again before you could get a hold of yourself. This wasn’t like anything you’d imagined in your millions of different daydreams, regular dreams, even nightmares, where you found him again. This wasn’t like any of it. It was painful and awful and yet it felt amazing to let all of it out. You’d been holding so much in, hanging on to all of it tightly, for far too long.

A pathetic failure, is what your parents turned you into. You already knew that. But it was good to see that he’d grown into a stronger version of his younger self. It was comforting, really. This was what you’d imagined he’d be, even if you were blowing every other thing about your reunion.

“You’re a survivor. And a wonderful woman, I’m so very sure.” Smiling at you like he knew it to be true. Like it just had to be. “As beautiful inside as you are outside.” Grinning just a little lightly. The heat on your face then was of an entirely different variety. “So.. please... come back with me. I have popcorn. And The Last Unicorn on DVD. We can snuggle up. Like old times. And- and talk, when you’re ready.”

Before you knew what to do with yourself you were nodding. “Yeah I’d- I’d really like that. A lot. I’d love it, actually.” Seconds after getting that out you were holding on to him again, and he to you.

“I missed you. God I missed you.” The way his hand fit in yours was almost the same as when you were kids. You felt safer than you could remember. That same safety that had found you when you’d fallen asleep next to him on a school night. Curled up in his bed. After collecting his stuff off the table he led you back to his car, opened the door for you, and then got in on his side. His hand found yours after he turned the ignition and pulled out onto the road. It was good. It was so good. Did more for you than meds and a string of therapists ever had.

Were you dreaming? It almost didn’t feel real...

“Hey...” He called to you just before you really started questioning the validity of this. “Have you um.. kept up with the jew stuff?” When he was younger he never would have been so forward, calling it that.

So much so that it startled a laugh out of you, and soon he was laughing, too. “Um. No. I’m sorry. That’s probably a huge disappointment.” You did feel bad. Some days you’d thought about trying to get back into it. Wanted to believe it. But no part of you could find any of it comforting anymore. Not after being taken.

“Nah. Me either. Don’t worry. Av and Deb’ll still love you just the same, though. Promise.” He winked at you, something that seemed incredibly dorky. So like him. Almost like he hadn’t changed a bit.

You gave his hand a squeeze and before you knew it, “What about you?” It was evident and yet you couldn’t help but ask. Couldn’t help but cling until you heard him say it-

“More than you know. I promise you that, too.”

And even though your parents had forced his young hand into breaking one of the only ones he’d ever made to you, you believed this one. You really did. Nothing was in the way now. “Me, too.”

Quickly you decided, if none of this was real, you were fine with that.  
This was what you’d always wanted.  
You weren’t letting go.


End file.
